It is crazy to think that i have been here for seven weeks-so many people told me that i would look back and think that it went by so fast, but the truth is that i feel like i have been here for seven months. It seems like so much longer becuase so many things have happened, becuase i have learned and been a part of so much, it has been fascinating, at the same time extremely difficult. I apologize for not writing in a long time, which means that i am going to leave out a lot of big things that have happened...gives you all a chance to talk me to when i get home :)
Well the Little Country Team came and went, and i praise the Lord for choosing the time they came and for choosing who came. I needed some of "my" people that week, and the poeple that he brought were better than i could have hoped for. The highschool girls that came reminded me that i have something to go home to. I have been feeling like i could just live here, that i am being used here and falling to the lie that if i go home i will not be used, that there is no ministry at home for me. The Lord reminded how much my heart breaks for high school girls-it's hard to be a high school girl, and i am so excited to get home and be a part of their lives. The Lord also brought adults on the team that were like parents to me, that encouraged me, that told me they were proud of me-something that i have needed to hear. Something that i have always wanted to hear from a certain person my whole life it seems, and never have. During the LCC team's week here i heard it, and it was said so sincerely and with just strength that i heard it from the Lord's mouth himself, and no more do i feel like i need to hear it from that other person. Also-the young men that came on the team were men of the Lord, were strong men with a soft heart and sensative to the spirit, seeing that gave me hope, and sealed the healing that the Lord has b!een doing in me.
While the team was here we had "El Reventon" it was very similar to an Outreach America Blast, and the Lord showed up, people got saved. Also-something for everyone that came down to know-you guys changed hearts of boys that Dan and his staff have been praying for and spending time with for years. I am sure that you all remember Chulo, Papas, and Leo-if not, Tina's brother and two of the boys that worked with us during the week. These three boys have been around missionary teams, and around Christians their whole lives, but never wanted to be a part of it, i talked to some of you about the trouble with all the rules that the Mexicans put on being a Christian rather than a relationship with the Lord. Anyway, the Tuesday that you guys left, that night-all three boys accepted the Lord!!! :) Gracias a Dios!
Ever since the tea left i have not spoken or heard any English except for from Dusten's ipod-it has been difficult, but every day i am blessed that i understand what people are saying to me, that i dont have to translate in my head and think about my words before i respond but that i can have a conversation with ease. This is good considering i am living with about ten missionary students from different parts of Mexico. It has been a little bot difficult for me though becuase of the cultural differences, and the fact that i am the only American. For example, they make lots of comments about the differences in cultures and what they disagree with in our culture and make references to color. I know that it is not to be offensive but simply becuase different colors or cultures is not something that they have ever had to be sensative with becuase in Mexico there is only one color, one culture, one language-growing up in America we learn not to refer to someon by color, or not to disagree with cultures.
I went with the students to some labor camps about two hours away where there are lots of people who grew up speaking another idiom of Spanish, but once they are old enough to work they move from their tribe and only speak Spanish. We went around with a tape player, three different casette tapes and different maps of Mexico. We went door to door asking people if they spoke another idiom and if so where they were from, we found it on the map then searched the tapes which contained 300 different 30 second clips of idioms. When we found theirs i would have them listen to it, and make sure that they understood what it said, i would ask them to explain it to me in Spanish, and they i asked if they would like casettes in their proper idiom of messages of the Bible. It was amzing to see the faces of people when they heard their idiom outside of their tribe. There were so many that were not Christians, that would not have wanted anything to do with the Bible, but to have their heart language readily available for them to hear was an offer they could not pass up. It was great for me to be able to understand, being here and only hearing spanish, or hearing lessons of the Bible only in Spanish, even if i understand it all-it does not pentrate my heart the same way that English does. The Lord speaks to us personally in out proper language, in our heart language. Crazy-300 different idioms and they are all so close to the Spanish we learn in school on America, but here they are all SO different. In these labor camps there were children who did not know how to speak any spanish, they moved with their parents and couldnt play with any of the other kids becuase they couldnt understand each other, it was heart breaking. There was one boy in particular who my heart broke for, his name is Francisco and he is 16- he moved from his tribe to this labor camp more than seven hours away alone to work becuase his family has no money. He didnt speak very much spanish at all, but had sketchy tattoos that someone from the labor camp had put on him, looked like to be a part of a gang. When we began talking to him i was almost in tears just feeling the Lord's heart for this kid and how much the Lord wanted to preserve his childhood-the calling that this kid has on his life to bring truth to his tribe-but how trapt he is in all the lies of the enemy. I was on a team with Tina and Carlos for the casette assignment, she looked at me, and we both knew that we needed to pray for him. We asked him if we could, and then had Carlos pray for him, that way he could lay hands on him and it would not be crossing any cultural borders inapropriately. We are going back to these camps on Friday to hand out the tapes, very excited.
Friday is also the last day for the students that are here, then we have a team from Tijuana coming Saturday for a week. Please be praying for me during that week.
A big prayer for myself that i have had lately is that i will not fall into the trap of thinking that i only have three more weeks of work left to do, but i want to be a slave for the Lord even more so at home than i am here. It should be easier for me when i am at home in my confort zone to serve the Lord, to be sensative to His spirit. Mainly i have been praying that i would continue to walk in the freedom that the Lord has given me here, so many people at home know how stupid i have been in my past, and thinking about how many times the Lord has pulled out of the stupidity and i walked right back into it. Coming here it has been easy to be who the Lord has created me to be and walk freely from my past becuase no one here knows of my past. I am healed, and i am free, i am so thankful, and i am so excited becuase for the first time in my life i truely believe that the Lord has forgotten my trespasses, and He has blessed me, He has answered my prayers that i might forget them as well-and i have! I am free!
People i have been praying for a lot lately-Keely, Girlfriend, Gina, my small group Girls-the Lord has been giving me His heart for you, and He wants you to walk in the same freedom that i now am-He says that you dont have to go to Mexico for three months to recieve it!
Love you all!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
End of week Four
Yup, it has only been four weeks-i still have six more.
Thank you to all of you that are reading my blog, and a BIG thanks to those of you that are commenting, i have certainly had my times of homesickness and the comments help. To Paul-sorry about the CDL, those are gross. But dont plan on getting too used to Lake anyway, cuz i will be at South Bonneyview :) thanks for the encouragement-i love that my job was more than just a job.
Here i feel like it is a job too, but that it is one of a higher calling-since the last time i wrote a lot of heavy things have been happeneing.
So about a week ago i woke up and felt like i was at home, not like i was in another country. I am not affraid to talk to people in Spanish-when we drive around town people yell my name out to say hello. I really started to feel like i belong here and that this is so much more than just a missions trip-but that i am a part of San Vicente now-i started to feel like i could live here, that these people could be my family. With that comfort came more opportunities for me to share with people why i am here and a little about the path i took to get here. I had one day of that comfort until i went to sleep that night. I had a dream that i was in San Vicente on a missions trip and that my sister called and said that i had to come home immediately-that something terrible had happened. So in my dream i went home knowing tha i would be coming back to Mexico to finish what the Lord had for me. Once i got back to Redding-i tried and tried and tried to get back but i was not able to, every day i would wake up planning to get on the plane and every day i missed the plane. The dream ended with my falling asleep in my bed at home thinking about how in the morning i had to wake up determined to get on the plane becuase i knew that the Lord wanted me in San Vicente. The dream was so incredibly realistic that when i woke up in the morning i expected to be in the US. It was very difficult for me that next day-as if it was my first day here and all these people are talking to me like they know me. I have had that dream every night since then, and every morning it is difficult, not only difficult because i have to keep geting used to being in Mexico but more difficult becuase with every dream i have to return to home becuase some different terrible things has happened to my family or friend, thus during my days i am more and more worried about things going on at home. I actually woke up crying this morning. I have dedicated myself to falling asleep praying for different dreams, praying that i would continue to be faithful in giving my family and friends at home up to Him with confidence that He takes better care of you guys than i can, when you let Him, i pray every night in hopes that i will not have the dream again. Tonight i plan to annoint myself with oil-thank you Katie and i am hopeful that i will have a peaceful slumber.
This is only of many different ways that the enemy has been getting at me-but just in the last four days i have gotten much better at identifying the attacks and turning it over to the Lord that the enemy might flee. I have found confidence in the verse James 4:7 which says that if i humble myself before God, if i resist the devil that he will flee from me. So i am going to continue to resist him, more than that i have been so blessed by the fact that the Lord as yet to flee from me. Before i came down here i had spent a good amount of time resisting the Lord and what He had for me, and rather than fleeing he kept pressing closer and closer-thank you Jesus!!!
Since i have been here i have gotten to know Dan's youngest son, we call him Bibi, very well. The Lord has told me many things about what he has planned for this eight year old boy, and it has made me very excited, and at the same time, so scared that Bibi has the choice to not walk in what the Lord has for him. It has made me think a lot about the fact that i have had so many amazing poeple hep to raise me into a woman of the Lord, and i have so many times let the hurts of my blood family not growing me up in the Lord as an excuse to walk away from the Lord. So many of you have spoken life to me, have told me that you love me, have told me that the Lord has great plans for me, and so many times i turned you away and at the same time turned the Lord away becuase i wanted to here it from my real family. The heart that the Lord has given me for Bibi has made me realize how grateful i am for all of you. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me, thank you for the family that you have been to me, and for the way that you all have never given up on me. I think about Tippie and how much of my life she has walked me through, thank you Tippie, i love you a lot. Katie and Nick Ristow-you have told me the good and the bad. Dusten-pretty sure part of the reason that God made you the way you are is to help me become who He wants me to be. There have been so many of you!!! And i have spent the last week praying for you all, and thanking the Lord for you all, and asking for forgiveness for the blindness that i have been living in to the ways that i have hurt all of you in the times that i walked away from what the Lord had for me. Thinking about Bibi has helped me realize.
God has really been teaching me a lot more about the gifts that he has given me. I have learned that there is no difference in saying no to Him when He calls me to do or say something, and not listening to Him and what He would have for me to do or say. It has been amazing that the more i walk in a way to bless the Lord that He blesses me.
Being here is a blessing in and of itself. Yesterday i realized that i never wrote about my shoulder being healed, that right Luke-it still has yet to hurt!!! :) The say before i left, i had a friend come over to the house who has been given the gift of healing and told him about my shoulder that he been hurt for over two years and how i could ot even lift a jug of milk over my shoulder, or when i lift my arm different ways it hurt terribely, i told him that last summer i had a difficult playing with the kids, i could not shovel effectively...and that i did not want to go ten weeks with restaints, through prayer the Lord healed me, and there not been anything that i have not been able to do becuase of my shoulder. This was a huge encouragement for me to walk in my giftings, and the last two days i have been able to tell people what the Lord has in store for them if they choose it, or even what the Lord has in store in for them if they dont turn their lives around, doing so not afraid!
This morning Tina, Ma (her mom) and I went to the market, then we came home and made breakfast, while we were out a few different guys asked Ma if i they could talk to me. That led to some conversation while we were making breakfast, her telling me that i dont need to be talking to any guys who are not respectful and who do not have a house, and so on and so forth. Anyway, Ma and i have gotten very close, before i got here she was timid to hug, but i have been hugging her so much-so likes it, and has even started to hug Tina and Rey more and more. Anyway, she began to cry as she was making the salsa, saying that she is happy with make here because she knows that i am safe, but that when i go back she is going to be worried about me all the time, and that we have no way to talk to each other. She said that she is going to miss me and lots more as she began to cry, then Tina started crying-so of course i did too. I dont like that i am already worried about having to say goodbye.
I feel as though this blog has been a long ramble. To get to more practical things, we had three students from Mexicali come today who will be staying at the Remanent Center, we will be getting more every day, and they will be here anywhere from one to four weeks. The LCC team will be here in nine days and i am SO excited!!! we have been planing lots of things for that week.
Time to move to my new home for the week, i am staying with Dan and Amalia this week.
Biggest prayer requests for this week: That i would continue to build deep relationships not restrained by fear of saying goodbye. That Tina's mom and brother Rey would come to accept and know the Lord. That i would be listening more often to the Lord's voice. That i would have refreshing dreams!
Thank you to all of you that are reading my blog, and a BIG thanks to those of you that are commenting, i have certainly had my times of homesickness and the comments help. To Paul-sorry about the CDL, those are gross. But dont plan on getting too used to Lake anyway, cuz i will be at South Bonneyview :) thanks for the encouragement-i love that my job was more than just a job.
Here i feel like it is a job too, but that it is one of a higher calling-since the last time i wrote a lot of heavy things have been happeneing.
So about a week ago i woke up and felt like i was at home, not like i was in another country. I am not affraid to talk to people in Spanish-when we drive around town people yell my name out to say hello. I really started to feel like i belong here and that this is so much more than just a missions trip-but that i am a part of San Vicente now-i started to feel like i could live here, that these people could be my family. With that comfort came more opportunities for me to share with people why i am here and a little about the path i took to get here. I had one day of that comfort until i went to sleep that night. I had a dream that i was in San Vicente on a missions trip and that my sister called and said that i had to come home immediately-that something terrible had happened. So in my dream i went home knowing tha i would be coming back to Mexico to finish what the Lord had for me. Once i got back to Redding-i tried and tried and tried to get back but i was not able to, every day i would wake up planning to get on the plane and every day i missed the plane. The dream ended with my falling asleep in my bed at home thinking about how in the morning i had to wake up determined to get on the plane becuase i knew that the Lord wanted me in San Vicente. The dream was so incredibly realistic that when i woke up in the morning i expected to be in the US. It was very difficult for me that next day-as if it was my first day here and all these people are talking to me like they know me. I have had that dream every night since then, and every morning it is difficult, not only difficult because i have to keep geting used to being in Mexico but more difficult becuase with every dream i have to return to home becuase some different terrible things has happened to my family or friend, thus during my days i am more and more worried about things going on at home. I actually woke up crying this morning. I have dedicated myself to falling asleep praying for different dreams, praying that i would continue to be faithful in giving my family and friends at home up to Him with confidence that He takes better care of you guys than i can, when you let Him, i pray every night in hopes that i will not have the dream again. Tonight i plan to annoint myself with oil-thank you Katie and i am hopeful that i will have a peaceful slumber.
This is only of many different ways that the enemy has been getting at me-but just in the last four days i have gotten much better at identifying the attacks and turning it over to the Lord that the enemy might flee. I have found confidence in the verse James 4:7 which says that if i humble myself before God, if i resist the devil that he will flee from me. So i am going to continue to resist him, more than that i have been so blessed by the fact that the Lord as yet to flee from me. Before i came down here i had spent a good amount of time resisting the Lord and what He had for me, and rather than fleeing he kept pressing closer and closer-thank you Jesus!!!
Since i have been here i have gotten to know Dan's youngest son, we call him Bibi, very well. The Lord has told me many things about what he has planned for this eight year old boy, and it has made me very excited, and at the same time, so scared that Bibi has the choice to not walk in what the Lord has for him. It has made me think a lot about the fact that i have had so many amazing poeple hep to raise me into a woman of the Lord, and i have so many times let the hurts of my blood family not growing me up in the Lord as an excuse to walk away from the Lord. So many of you have spoken life to me, have told me that you love me, have told me that the Lord has great plans for me, and so many times i turned you away and at the same time turned the Lord away becuase i wanted to here it from my real family. The heart that the Lord has given me for Bibi has made me realize how grateful i am for all of you. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me, thank you for the family that you have been to me, and for the way that you all have never given up on me. I think about Tippie and how much of my life she has walked me through, thank you Tippie, i love you a lot. Katie and Nick Ristow-you have told me the good and the bad. Dusten-pretty sure part of the reason that God made you the way you are is to help me become who He wants me to be. There have been so many of you!!! And i have spent the last week praying for you all, and thanking the Lord for you all, and asking for forgiveness for the blindness that i have been living in to the ways that i have hurt all of you in the times that i walked away from what the Lord had for me. Thinking about Bibi has helped me realize.
God has really been teaching me a lot more about the gifts that he has given me. I have learned that there is no difference in saying no to Him when He calls me to do or say something, and not listening to Him and what He would have for me to do or say. It has been amazing that the more i walk in a way to bless the Lord that He blesses me.
Being here is a blessing in and of itself. Yesterday i realized that i never wrote about my shoulder being healed, that right Luke-it still has yet to hurt!!! :) The say before i left, i had a friend come over to the house who has been given the gift of healing and told him about my shoulder that he been hurt for over two years and how i could ot even lift a jug of milk over my shoulder, or when i lift my arm different ways it hurt terribely, i told him that last summer i had a difficult playing with the kids, i could not shovel effectively...and that i did not want to go ten weeks with restaints, through prayer the Lord healed me, and there not been anything that i have not been able to do becuase of my shoulder. This was a huge encouragement for me to walk in my giftings, and the last two days i have been able to tell people what the Lord has in store for them if they choose it, or even what the Lord has in store in for them if they dont turn their lives around, doing so not afraid!
This morning Tina, Ma (her mom) and I went to the market, then we came home and made breakfast, while we were out a few different guys asked Ma if i they could talk to me. That led to some conversation while we were making breakfast, her telling me that i dont need to be talking to any guys who are not respectful and who do not have a house, and so on and so forth. Anyway, Ma and i have gotten very close, before i got here she was timid to hug, but i have been hugging her so much-so likes it, and has even started to hug Tina and Rey more and more. Anyway, she began to cry as she was making the salsa, saying that she is happy with make here because she knows that i am safe, but that when i go back she is going to be worried about me all the time, and that we have no way to talk to each other. She said that she is going to miss me and lots more as she began to cry, then Tina started crying-so of course i did too. I dont like that i am already worried about having to say goodbye.
I feel as though this blog has been a long ramble. To get to more practical things, we had three students from Mexicali come today who will be staying at the Remanent Center, we will be getting more every day, and they will be here anywhere from one to four weeks. The LCC team will be here in nine days and i am SO excited!!! we have been planing lots of things for that week.
Time to move to my new home for the week, i am staying with Dan and Amalia this week.
Biggest prayer requests for this week: That i would continue to build deep relationships not restrained by fear of saying goodbye. That Tina's mom and brother Rey would come to accept and know the Lord. That i would be listening more often to the Lord's voice. That i would have refreshing dreams!
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