A 3rd of the way

These blogs are getting harder and harder to write, becuase i want to tell you all everything, but that is impossible.
Our second team left on Saturday, and they were a lot of fun, but unfortunately there were triggers to spiritual discernment that made the week very hard for me. i stayed with them at the Remnant Center and while many of their attributes made me miss the youth group in Redding, there were many times where i just sat in my room alone-prayig for them-and reading the letters and cards that you guys sent me with, thank you so much...they have really helped in my weak moments.
The team however was very good with the kids in the camp. There was one guy Erik who Tina and i both recieved the Lord's heart for, he spoke spanish and was very good with the kids. They would all line up as soon as the cars pulled in for Erik to spin them, the kids even got Erik to spin me on his shoulders (even though i fought it). I hae really fallen in love with these kids, at this particular camp there is over fifty and efter just seven visits, i know 90% of their names and who is related to who. My first day at the camp i chose to really love in these two brother Cezar 8, and Antonio 6, they were born in the states and had to move to the labor camp two years ago. They are much different than the other kids in the fact that they dont ever ask for a piggy back ride or to be spun. But the other day Cezar whipsered in my ear "cabaillto", they are finally recieving love and gaining courage. Then later i was holding Antonio and singing a song that i made up in Spanish about how i love him and Jesus loves him, and Jesus' love will never fail, and he looked at me and said "Te amo" WOW!!! these kids do not say those things. There is another boy Adaria 12, who comes to me everytime with new words that he wants translated into English, he wants to live in the States some day and be a lawyer. My prayer for him right now that is that the Lord provides a way for him to go to Jr. High. The kids get to go to school one day a week, and after what we would call elementary school they are not garunteed anything, becuase there is no way for them to get into town. I told Tina that while i am here i want to come once a week and teach the older kids math and english, she is trying to set that up.
Most all of the work that i have done so far has not bore any obvious fruit, and not that there is a problem with that becuase i know that "It's not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What's important is that God makes the seed grow. 1 Corinthians 3:7" However, even knowing that, it is has been hard to not get discouraged and not listen to the enemy telling me that i am not doing anything here. Yesterday we went to Ensenada early in the morning to go to a church there, walking in reminded me so much of LCC, just the way that i was able to immediate feel the Holy Spirit. And i must admit that so far in over three weeks now that was the first time that i have felt the Holy Spirit, i have been hearing His voice, and i have known his presence, but the overwhelming feeling of His love, yesterday morning was the first time since the Thursday night before i left. of course...any of you that know me know that that means that i cried during the worship. and it did not matter that i didnt know what all the words meant, i knew that the people in that room had the same heart for the same God that i do. so i used the time of worship to pray, i prayed out loud, in English over all the people in there that they as well as the rest of us who know the Lord would look past color, look past culture, and language, and yearn to know the God more. The Lord is calling for people to be soldiers in His army, and that army fights united, for one cause, and one God, with one motivation-Love-and that love is universal because only God created it, only He is able to define it. There are so many other things that people in every country are falling to in search of love, and these things are claiming to be love, or able to teach love, and it is all a lie. I have become disgusted with the phrase "true love" as if there is a "false love" when in fact there is not. There is only love, and anything less than the Lord's definition of love is only lies. As we all, from every country come closer to the Lord, and learn to love each other the way that He does, and learn to love Him, the way that He deos we begin to fight together. The closer we indivually get to Him, they closer we get to eachother.
As i began to think of the work that i am doing here, and the way that the Lord has me loving people, i started to cry out for direction. To be enlightened to what He would be doing, if Jesus were in San Vicente for three months, what would He be doing differently, and then the strength to walk in that direction.
A few hours after that we were walking around Ensenada, and a guy stopped us by saying, you love Jesus, huh? Tina first wanted to just keep walking, but he was looking me in the eyes, and i couldnt just walk by. He told Tina to tell me that the Lord has a lot of work for me to do while i am here, and that i need to be sensative to the Holy Spirit becuase there are details. Then he said that the work that the Lord has for me will give me confirmation for the direction of my life.
Just as i was beginning to doubt...Jesus is FUNNY!